jared

jared
1. (Jared) (2970↑, 964↓)
1.someone who has achieved the mastery of greatness 2.someone you would stride to be like 3.a manifestation of excellence 4.basically the raw-est nigga God could create

Jared is the best I lost my girlfriend to Jared... oh well My wife is screwing Jared

Author: someone with a name http://jared.urbanup.com/2987253
2. (Jared) (1103↑, 744↓)
A man with a legendary sized penis who dresses extremely fly. Usually of Brazilian decent.

1. Damn he must be a Jared\!\! 2. If only I could be a Jared. Then i could one day be king.

3. (Jared) (1077↑, 735↓)
1. a top notch baller marked by disticnt good looks, a solid A in geometry honors, and man uggs. 2. a passionate capricorn who possesses a blazing love for vanilla icing, the xgames, and rock band. 3. someone amazing. *also see BEAR

Cara is so incredibly lucky, I wish I could have a Jared\!

4. (Jared) (704↑, 494↓)
A really, really hot guy, that I think may like me back. Known each other for a wicked long time. Flippy brown hair and hazel eyes. HE'S GORGEOUS\!\! Wicked nice and the funniest guy you have every met\!\! \<3

"Wow, that guy over there, he's such a Jared." "I know. How long have you known him?" "Well I said he's a Jared, so we've known each other forever\!\!"

5. (Jared) (490↑, 318↓)
Full of charm, knows right things to say, knows right things to do, is very aware, manipulator, egotistic, loves children, can be amazing in bed with teaching. A man that will own & then destroy your heart leaving you to wonder wtf just happened? History of repeating.

He pulled a Jared. That's Jared\!

6. (Jared) (205↑, 43↓)
The most amazing boy alive. Best smile, laugh, personality, body,...everything. The total package. Impossible not to fall in love with. After one kiss, there's quite literally no going back. Without a doubt, the best lover I have ever had. Simply put, this boy is perfect.

Jared, is the love of my life.

7. (Jared) (219↑, 130↓)
Squad leader and Guide. Wise and publicly professional, yet secretly wild with intent to party. Chick magnet and very driven individual. One of a kind for sure.

Jared= Oorah\! Bottoms up, beer down. Helloooo NURSE\!

8. (Jared) (116↑, 53↓)
A charming, smart, sweet, caring guy, that stole my heart from the first day. Utter blissfulness whenever in his presence..

[Jared] is the luckiest guy in the world.

9. (Jared) (92↑, 65↓)
a person who is slightly random and on occasion cray but all around flippin awesome. Someone you know will be there when it counts.

Oh my word, you are SOO Jared

10. (Jared) (88↑, 61↓)
Tall, awesomely cute guy. Who knows how to be sensitive and sweet, but he also knows how to be a man. He is addicted to video games. He loves to make videos and film things. He can be laid back and hes very shy. His curly hair is amazing and his dark brown eyes are pretty. He has the best voice. hes the best boyfriend one could ever have. girls tend to leave their boyfriends for him. Hes quiet, sometimes so much that its annoying. But hes easy to love. he knows many people despite his quietness.

i just spent the whole day with [Jared] and we went shopping, hes such a nice guy

11. (Jared) (261↑, 235↓)
An extremely lovable guy who will go out of his way to make you laugh. Diet consists mainly of BBQ sauce & jager bombs. Likes to entertain himself by playing w/ his own or my butt crack. My cuddle partner for life.

Jared: jager bomb? ----- Me: What the hell are you doing? Jared: Smelling my fingers Me: Why? Jared: Because they smell crack-tastic Me: Of course they do Jared: Let's go bowling ----- Jared yelling out the car window: I'M IN MIAMI BITCH\!\!

12. (Jared) (62↑, 37↓)
The best thing that's ever happened to me.

Even when I'm with my boo, You know I'm crazy over Jared.

13. (Jared) (25↑, 7↓)
the most amazing person alive aka: kind heart, sweet smile, strong morals, quick wit, funny in his own way, puts family first, works hard, plays harder, makes everyone around him feel special, cares more for others than himself, and loves unconditionally

Jared, the man of my dreams i wish you were more like Jared

14. (Jared) (16↑, 2↓)
A good-looking, tall, athletic, smart, dorky, and funny guy who is usually an amazing boyfriend but can easily become jealous. He has a good heart and will always be an amazing friend.

"He was like the funnest guy to hang out with\!" "I know\! He's totally a Jared."

15. (Jared) (16↑, 4↓)
The most amazing guy you could ever meet. You'll fall completely head over heels for this guy. He's got the perfect smile, eyes, personality, looks, body, everything. You will want nothing more then to be with him. But, he's a hardcore player. He'll leave you heartbroken. He expects you to give him chances after chances when he messes up, bur when you do, you're already out of the picture. You will definitely enjoy the time you got to spend with Jared.

You: "damn.. I really think I love Jared\! But he totally played me..."

16. (jared) (45↑, 33↓)
really tall guy who is an athlete mixed with a nerd, movie buff, also refered to as the elusiv whit man

they went to jared

17. (Jared) (55↑, 45↓)
Sexy man with a nice body who is loved by everyone and only loves half of them back\! Also called Jaraaaaaaaaaaddd, Jarebear, Jay-rad, or Gay-rad. But only I can call him those names...

I'm going to Jared's pool today\! Really? Awesome\! Yeah, I just hope his brother lets me in his house.

18. (Jared) (8↑, 0↓)
A person you can count on to bring Alize to a party.

Do we have any [Alize]? No, but Jared should be here soon.

19. (Jared) (5↑, 1↓)
Jared is the name of the most amazing person alive. Most likely the name of a great saxophone player. The sound of his voice makes my heart glow and his eyes are as deep as the sea with many meanings. I could see into them forever and get lost in his eyes and forget everything around me but him. Just one smile from Jared and my heart beats a bajallion times. The touch of his hand sends electric shocks through my heart and i need to tell myself to breathe. When I see him i feel fearless. I feel alive. I feel special. Most of all, i feel loved. I love you \<3 :D

I love Jared\<3

20. (Jared) (4↑, 1↓)
A reluctant sword smith, women tend to trip over their tongues as he passes by. usually reviled by other males for having mythical penis girth. Usually compared to god like figures such as Zeus and Thor. one of the greatest Jared's was delivered to planet earth in 1975 via non earth like space craft - is also allergic to Kryptonite. probably the best all round rooter in the solar system, women have been known to gush uncontrollably and pass out at the mere sight of his powerful index and middle fingers - so he wears ski gloves in public - or hand prosthesis. Once pointed at chuck Norris and Barry Dawson in a pub and told them to leave, Barry ran, Chuck fell to his knees and orgasmed uncontrollably - he wasn't wearing any gloves that day. Everyone should nickname their penis Jared.

Fuck\! I thought he was at the fortress of solitude\! I better leave town, I heard he wants to fuck my wife and sister\! "Jared" I thought HE was the god of thunder, maybe he's Thor's Grandfather?

Author: Rooster 00027 http://jared.urbanup.com/5847255
21. (jared) (4↑, 2↓)
gullible person

he was such a jared to believe jon poh.smarty lololololol hahaha

22. (Jared) (1↑, 0↓)
Beast Of All Trades, Always Copied Never Duplicated\! Worth Weight In Gold\!, Hes Their When You Need Him, And Still Their When You Dont,

Hey Man, Your Such A Jared\! Hey, I Just Heard You Pulled A Jared On That Clown RobDog59\!

23. (Jared) (0↑, 0↓)
The most caring guy ever. He has gorgeous green eyes, and has a passion for music. He even writes his own music, and it it amazing. He is extremely loving, but has very low self-esteem. If you love him, in time he will surely love you back.

I'm in love with Jared Ohmigod, he is a total Jared\!

24. (Jared) (0↑, 0↓)
the action of someone that has a firecracker up their butt then is lighted by someone else that has the lighter in their mouth.

WTF is that guy doing? oh, he must be a Jared\!

25. (Jared) (0↑, 1↓)
Jared: Usually refered to as boring, crazy, One worded conersations. Boring coming from the Russian word "Borden". Friends with audreys, luke enemy, Very hot. Likes Oranges

Dude Jared is totally making me crazy.

26. (Jared) (4↑, 5↓)
Noun: a person or people with the name Jared varying from short to tell hot and ugly straight and gay no real way to describe a Jared but weird

Guy: "I heard Jared hit his head on the ceiling while jumping" Girl:"that's Jared alright"

27. (Jared) (0↑, 2↓)
Jared is a massive nob, he always wears stripes and thinks its really cool to wear a grey blazer with grey skinny jeans.. although it looks pretty fit ;) he has the most horrendous laugh.. but i hear it all the time cause i am hilare\! although he would argue that he's funnier. all the girls want him and he blates knows it.. Such a lad, but such a babe. One of my bestest friends, love him lots\!\! Hahah Love you Jaaaarrrrr \<3

Me: Nice ring Jared ;) Jared: *Gay little laugh that he does* ------------------------------------------- Android 4 lyf bbz\!\! \<3

28. (Jared) (29↑, 31↓)
A girls douchey cock blocking best friend who she claims is her best friend or her brother. He is usually tall and sometimes older this is a new brand of Jared though called a Ped-Jared. His life is usually void of guy friends as he is unaware of what the bro code is. He will always try and hug your girlfriend or try to take her away from you.

Boyfriend: Hey can you hang out later. Girlfriend: Maybe. Jared: No remember we are going to the opera. Boyfriend: Way to pull a Jared fag. Bro code remember? Jared: What does the bro code mean?

29. (Jared) (5↑, 9↓)
Noun, a person who mentions the niceness of tyler's genitalia, which was meaty and large.

"Other Says: Was tyler's cock nice? Jared Says: I don't want to say it was nice, BUT IT WAS NICE."

Author: Colinnoahandother http://jared.urbanup.com/5915848
30. (Jared) (184↑, 190↓)
Sexy love; Hottie, I Love him SSOOO much.

I Love You Jared Lemoine, you are the most amazing person ive ever met.

31. (Jared) (5↑, 15↓)
A little baby who got burnt, drowned an killed by his mum mary.

Jareds gonna die\!\!\!\!\!\!\!\!\!\!\!\!\! Jareds gonna burn\!\!\!\!\!\!\!\! Jareds gonna drown\!\!\!\!\! Did you hear that Jared got buried in a shallow grave Oh Jared\!\! not again\!\!\!\! JAAAAAARRRREEEEEEDD\!\!\!\!\!\!\!\!\!\!\!\!\!\!\!\!\!\!\!\!

32. (Jared) (26↑, 36↓)
a hairy homeless midget who never showers. It lives under bridges, it's diet consists of toothpaste & waffles. Very vicious and does not make a good pet.

Girl: I had a pet Jared once, i had to get rid of it though. Boy: Why? Girl: It smelled horrible and ate all my toothpaste. Then it tried to bite me. Boy: You poor thing...

Author: A Very Amazing Person. (: http://jared.urbanup.com/5448360
33. (jared) (35↑, 51↓)
(v.) the act of sodomizing an unsuspecting homosexual negroid; often results in the contraction of AIDS. When jareding, the perpetrator lures in a pack of niggers with a bucket of fresh KFC. As the apes feast on the chicken, he thoroughly inspects them, searching for the one with the largest, most African elephant dick. Although penises with piercings and other tribal deformities are preferred, the largest cock will suffice for jareding. Once a suitable porch monkey is selected, he will coerce the creature with pictures of female apes. As the negroid achieves a massive erection, the jareder will sneak up and position his well greased anus above the shaft. In one swift motion, the perpetrator impales his ass on the cock and rides it like a cowboy from Brokeback Mountain, eventually causing the negroid to ejaculate. In the final step of jareding, the sick fuck will proceed to collect the semen and pour it over fresh chalupas, as he is usually 13 year old faggot Taco Bell fanboy. As he eats the chalupas, the jareder smiles with joy stroking his tiny 2.3" dick to a picture of Jack Bauer, contemplating his next victim.

Blake: My asshole is feeling really tight, you wanna go jared tonight? Jared: Sure Mr. Locati\! I'd love to go, although I call dibs on your freshly made semen-covered tacos, I'm too much of a curly headed fucking jew to pay for Taco Bell\! Did I mention I'm gay?

Author: Von Cockenberg http://jared.urbanup.com/5483203
34. (Jared) (31↑, 48↓)
A giant piece of shit

I just took a [Jared].

Author: Awesomecoolnoncrappy person http://jared.urbanup.com/5429891
35. (Jared) (9↑, 42↓)
Tall, slightly chunky man with dark facial hair. Loves Black T-shirts and his sexy girlfriend. He has a fetish with [boobs]. His [popsicle] is slight smaller than normal. He never rejects you when you ask for a ride in his man van. He's a sweet and loving boyfriend but makes mistakes and doesnt really understand the female type. He has kind of a numb personality but is extremely loyal..... I mean REALLY [LOYAL]. He will be whatever you want hime to be. He is my bestfriend, my boyfriend, and my slave. He also enjoys blowing on lucy, his [trombone]....:D

He went to jared

36. (jared) (25↑, 62↓)
A guy who is usually extremly ugly sucks major dick at soccer and eats butthole for breakfast.

Dude why is that kid being such a jared i dont know look at the white stuff on his face.

37. (Jared) (296↑, 337↓)
Jared Fogel, of Subway diet fame, lost 245 lbs in one year eating Subway fare. Lots of rumors about AIDS, coke, bypass surgery, but he apparently did it honestly.

Fat Bastard, to Austin Powers: "I went on the Subway diet, like Jared and lost 180 pounds. Unfortunately, now my neck looks like a vagina."

Author: Dr. Dutch Evil http://jared.urbanup.com/1666627
38. (Jared) (34↑, 76↓)
To create something large in size for consumption. To upsize or upgrade something typically small or bite-size into something larger than usual. Name derived from Subway's spokesman Jared Fogel.

"I'm totally going to jared this s'more", said Alan has he built a 4 marshmallow, 2 graham cracker, and 1 full chocolate bar s'more around the campfire. You want to jared these Bagel Bites into a 4-story pizza tower?

39. (Jared) (18↑, 61↓)
A man or woman (no one really knows) whose hair smells of shit. He/She is very short and tends to have a high pitched voice. Jared sucks at sports so he/she resorts to drama. Jared sits at home all day and reads because he/she has no life.

Guy: Did you see that jared over there? Other Guy: Yeah what a faggot. I hate him\!

Author: WienerMaster3000 http://jared.urbanup.com/5160080
40. (jared) (168↑, 212↓)
a person whos name is jared duh. hes weird and random at times and he also sings annoying songs that get stuck in my head. blahzerz\!

jeny: jared your soo weird jared: no u\! jeny: jk your cool jared: no u\! jeny: aww thanks teehee\!\! jared: no u\! jeny: k.. getting annoying now. jared: lalalala jeny: ah my ears\!

41. (Jared) (24↑, 75↓)
A total fucking dick head who pisses everyone off and everyone hates,they are usually orange and gay,act hard like a chav \! Usually is a chav,takes drugs too and makes fun of people who haven't lost their virginity,usually suck cock.

Jared : Haw Haw your a wee dick mate haw haw Person : Go suck your mums left titty fag Jared : I'm running away (Runs away crying)

Author: PastResignationsofaghandi http://jared.urbanup.com/4984087
42. (Jared) (45↑, 99↓)
To completely kill everyone in the room's buzz by being totally negative and against everyone else.

Wow, that Jared completely ruined the party. No, I couldn't have fun last night, i was with a Jared Bald Headed FUCK\!

Author: buttsexman1234 http://jared.urbanup.com/4622556
43. (Jared) (245↑, 301↓)
One who humps legs until the point of ejaculation

"My boyfriend pulled a Jared last night; needless to say he got my sheets all wet and I still got nothing out of it."

44. (Jared) (74↑, 135↓)
The definition of true racism.

Jared: "I hate those damn sand ni**ers."

45. (jared) (42↑, 104↓)
a person lacking directional skills. jared's commonly lose in fights with their girlfriends because she is clearly stronger. but its alright that he is weak because they are extremely cute and perfect boyfriends =]

make your own examples to fit your own jared.

46. (Jared) (50↑, 113↓)
The flap of skin that connects your balls to your penis. Not to be mistaken for a [gooch], which is the skin between your balls and your asshole.

"Ahh, that feels so good, Don't forget the Jared Baby."

47. (jared) (25↑, 89↓)
(verb) the swift concentrated motion of any elongated object back and forth, in and out of the mouth. While jareding, the person tends to use the hands, with the assistance of saliva, in order to keep a steady pace and safe motion going. Jareding is commonly brought up in gay men, due to their tendencies to suck on each others penis's.

Mr. O'Brien bragged openly: "I jared the best, and I hate leaving messes\! I always make sure to finish it off"

Author: Brotha Lynch Hung of the LNHN http://jared.urbanup.com/4039163
48. (Jared) (40↑, 108↓)
(n.) A generally creepy stalker like person that emits a totally freakish vibe and makes you wanna run away. On knows when they are a jared when they have a creepy rapist voice, randomly show up behind people, or freak out unknowing teenage girls.

'Omg don't stand behind me like that, you jared.'

Author: Hair-product lover http://jared.urbanup.com/4013972
49. (Jared) (21↑, 99↓)
The art of escaping in an otto bin

He chucked a Jared He got out by Jareding

50. (Jared) (35↑, 131↓)
Jared is the name for the dingle berries that hang on butt hair

I have a Jared hanging from my butt

51. (Jared) (56↑, 160↓)
A person who has a fond liking to cats, sometimes extreme liking. Also to the point of having sex with cats.

ME: I heard a kid had sex with a cat\! He is such a Jared.

Author: spankyanky ham http://jared.urbanup.com/3033860
52. (jared) (104↑, 212↓)
a man who makes orgasm noises to the point of turning purple. he lives in online forums and enjoys driving people crazy. he also is usually found 69ing a fake stuffed turtle. also can be used as a verb such as "I just jareded that turtle" and insult. EXTREMELY GAY

youve been spending alot of time on those forums lately, your starting to turn into a jared.

53. (jared) (165↑, 273↓)
a gay right handed man that thinks he is good at everything and feels that google is the beholder of all.

I'm right,my name is jared.

54. (Jared) (39↑, 153↓)
Another name for Fagget/good Friend

Jared from Salinas California

55. (Jared) (71↑, 193↓)
One who has more homosexuality then he knows what to do with; The king of flamers.

Fuck my ass and call me jared.

Related: hot, leto, ass, gay, sex, awesome, cool, sexy, homo, jarred, nathan, penis, subway, 30 seconds to mars, amazing, beer, caleb, football, funny, jared leto, jarod, love, matthew, mike, sweet, algonquin, balls, boner, cock, dick, embry call, fag, fight, followill, jacob black, jewish, kings of leon, music, pimp, sam uley
Last updated: 2012.03.01

Urban English dictionary. 2013.

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  • Jared — ist der männliche Vorname folgender Personen: Jered, Gestalt des Alten Testaments, ältester Sohn des Mahalalel und ein Nachkomme des Set Jared Borgetti (* 1973), mexikanischer Fußballspieler Jared Diamond (* 1961), US amerikanischer… …   Deutsch Wikipedia

  • Jared — m Biblical name, probably meaning ‘descent’ in Hebrew, borne by a descendant of Adam (Genesis 5: 15). According to the Book of Genesis, he became the father of Enoch at the age of 162, and lived for a further eight hundred years. This name was… …   First names dictionary

  • JARED — fil. Malaleel, natus A. M. 461. pater Enochi, Obiit A. M. 1422. Gen. c. 5. v. 15. 1 Par. c. XI. v. 18. Salian. Torniel. in Ann …   Hofmann J. Lexicon universale

  • Jared — [jar′id] n. [LL(Ec) < Gr(Ec) < Heb yeredh, lit., descent: cf. Gen. 5:15] a masculine name …   English World dictionary

  • Jared — Infobox Given Name Revised name = Jared imagesize= caption= gender = Male region = origin = Hebrew meaning = descent related names = Jarod, Jered, Jerad, Jurd, Jarrod footnotes = Jared is a proper name that is very common first name (in various… …   Wikipedia

  • Jared — Cette page d’homonymie répertorie les différents sujets et articles partageant un même nom. Jared est un personnage du Tanakh qui est l ancêtre de Noé. Jared est un personnage du Livre de Mormon qui vécut à l époque de la confusion des langues… …   Wikipédia en Français

  • Jared — Para otro significado, véase Jared (Ranger) Jared es un personaje bíblico, hijo primógenito de Malaleel y padre de Henoc. Aparece en el Génesis,[1] donde se dice que vivió 962 años, siendo, por lo tanto el hombre más longevo de la Biblia,… …   Wikipedia Español

  • Jared, S. (1) — 1S. Jared (Jaredus) wird nach Migne am 6. Mai bei den Aethiopiern verehrt. Er scheint jedoch der Nächstfolgende zu seyn …   Vollständiges Heiligen-Lexikon

  • Jared, S. (2) — 2S. Jared, (10. Sept.), ein Bischof und Martyrer in Afrika. S. S. Jader. (III. 483.) …   Vollständiges Heiligen-Lexikon

  • Jared — Provenance. Vient de l hébreu Yered Signifie: Dieu fera descendre sa grâce Fête indéterminée. Histoire. Jarod est un très ancien nom. Dans la bible, c est celui d un patriarche qui aurait vécu 962 ans... Il est le grand père de Mathusalem. Ce nom …   Dictionnaire des prénoms français, arabes et bretons

  • Jared Leto — au 66e Festival de Venise …   Wikipédia en Français

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